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Helping My Stepdad Deal with His Grief
Today I got a phone call from my stepdad. After I said hello, I asked him how he was doing.
He answered, “Not good.”
I knew it was going to be a long call and took him off speakerphone.
In October 2020, my mom caught COVID while recovering from pneumonia and died in a COVID hospital ward miles from home. Like many families who lost parents and spouses during the pandemic, there are enduring moments of regret of losing a loved one who died alone in a hospital. While my feelings of grief have been complicated, his feelings have continued to be raw.
And I have a feeling they will last for some time in the future.
My mom, the original cougar of the 1980s, married a man 9 years younger than her. Even though she was too young to die, he is also very young to be a widower. And the realization that he will have many years to live without her is beginning to take its toll.
Today’s phone call was the latest release of emotion. Of course, I had to welcome them and encourage him to keep naming them. But I also took the time to encourage him to seek some professional help.
